Ramblings of a madman

Well, I've lived through my first year of college. I packed up yesterday and took the long drive back to Ohio for the summer. With luck I can find more work than my family can keep me busy with and pay me for. That way I can pay for my sophomore year of college without major fuss. I should be looking at around a 3.2 for this semester with 3 A's and 2 questionable grades I've got some work already lined up with my grandparents, but that won't be enough to cover the costs of my tuition, so I'm really looking for a steady job all summer. It would be even better if I could find a job that would transfer back to TN at the end of the summer. Then I wouldn't have to restart my job search when I get back to college.

I found my dream car the other day on craigslist.
I was utterly upset when it fell in my price range of cars, but I had no extra money to purchase or a way to bring it home with me I hoppe someday when I have enough money, I will still be able o find such a car as the Ford Gran Torino.

By the by, if anyone who knows me stumbles upon this blog, I'm not always this depressed. It just seems to make it easier to write.

Damn it, Dammit, Gadumit, etc.
Why does one of my best friends dump his girlfriend, who I happen to be crushing on since marching band, with only a week to go before I head back home for the summer? That doesn't even let me get through the grace period.
Unfortunately I saw this coming; while they loved each other very much there were some major personality conflict issues. :/ I think I can see why older sissy is going into psychology, why people do things is beyond me.

So, the guard thing hasn't worked out yet. I have to find a solo and work it up if I still want to audition. It probably won't happen till Fall semester at the earliest now. But that's Ok. I'm headed back home for the summer, where I plan to work most of the summer to help pay for all my fun classes in the fall. 
I hope to hang out some more with my old friends, well, the ones that are interested in hanging out that is. I look forward to hanging out with JMF the most, if only because it seems like the only time she slows down is when she's with me. She's like a pinball; bouncing from partner to partner, hitting cigs, booze, and parties along the way. We had a week together over winter break. She was in between boyfriends and was wondering why the last one called it off. I told her to just let life roll for a little while, but it seemed like as soon as I left she had another guy in her life that left after only a few weeks. I want to see her stay happy for more than a month at a time.

Money has continued to loom over my life, like an AT-AT in the fog, barely perceptible but still weighing down the earth. I wish the FinAid guys would get the award notices out already so I can know how much money I need for college next semster

In eight hours, I will be at the Tennessee National Guard Armory in Nashville, hopefully getting prepared to enlist in their band, where I will either play trumpet or french horn. What am I doing up at this hour when I have to be up at 6ish? Making it feel like another school day, save the 45 minute drive of course.
I've got wishes with too many girls right now, although whenever get close to one, they start dating, and its not me they're dating. It seems I am stuck in an eternal friend zone with girls I like. And any girls who have ever expressed an interest in me are too far away, as well as dating other guys. If only I could find what JT, NM, JF, and AS thought attractive of me, and find out why LB feels I am the creepiest man on the earth, I might be able to put together a stable relationship with someone again. Especially if you tie in the fact that many women over the age of 25 find me interesting enough to talk to in class. I've helped relationships, ended relationships, fixed relationships, and even recommended against relationships, but when that girl that is my friend starts talking to another guy, they fixate on him, leaving me in the friend box.

JD

Just got back from cleaning at the baseball game here on campus. It pays minimum wage, but it's a job. Plus instead of standing in front of a fryer for 10-20 hours a week, I get to go to baseball games 4 hours early and work for 10 hours a game. There's anywhere from 2 to 8 games in a paycheck, so that's anywhere from 20 to 80 hours, which means the possibility of some good paychecks. The big problem with it is, unless I stay here for the summer, work ends at the end of April. There's a tournament in May that if I worked could easily get me a lot of money.
The Financial Aid people haven't posted my aid for next school year, which annoys me. It means I have no clue how much money I have to earn to pay for next semester, tools and such. I get to register for classes on Friday. I've got to eke out a schedule that prevents me from going to the airport more than once a day. Hopefully, I can make it so my airport classes are all on Tuesday/Thursday or Monday/Wednesday so I don't have to drive that much.
I've got so much work to do on my car whenever I have both the time and the money. The front end needs completely rebuilt essentially; bearings, ball joints, tie rod ends, the whole dealio. I also need to go through and test some of my sensors to see if that's whats killing my acceleration.
Schools over in approximately 4 weeks, and I have yet to figure out what I am doing this summer. I would like to get an apartment here and work all summer, but that would require me to have a job that doesn't end at the end of May. Hopefully this weekend with the National Guard band will help me to figure that out. It would be really great if I'm signed up by the end of the weekend. Then I can see about going to boot camp this summer.
I sincerely hope everything falls into place with all this money stuff. Basically, all I can do to help right now is sign with the NG. That would definitely help out A LOT.

I've decided to actually use this thing for something, mainly to keep track of my inner monologue that often rambles about from school, to girls, to work, to money, to life, to everything else in between I try to keep track of the clutter and it seems bits of it gets lost in my head. And then there's the other things that won't leave, like that one girl who wants nothing to do with me, and my constant worrying. This isn't necessarily for anyone in particular but me, but if you stumble upon it for some unknown reason, drop me line, and I'll let you know that even though this chaos is always in my head, I'm doing just fine.

JD